Dressed in her stolen clothing, Aisha huddled with the Procuress in the shadows of the passageway from the baths to the storerooms.
“Are you sure you can get the food from the safely?” whispered the Procuress. “Do not take any unnecessary risks. If anything happens to you, Nasreen would never forgive me.”
“I will be fine,” said Aisha. “The passageway is not in use, and I have done this before. Even in broad daylight I am so thin no one notices I have breasts under these clothes. And I smell like animal skins. I look like any other boy.”
“Come back soon, before she wakes,” said the Procuress.
“I will,” said Aisha, and headed off down the passageway to the storeroom. The food Takri promised lay exactly where it should be, wrapped in muslin. She gathered the bundle under her arm and headed silently back to the dormitory.
When she arrived, she found the Procuress wiping Nasreen’s face with a cool cloth.
“I am glad you are back, little one. She is burning up from within. Do not worry, this sometimes happen with the loss of a pregnancy. Go outside and bring me a bucket of snow. Perhaps we can bring the fever down.”
Aisha rushed outside to gather the snow. By the time she returned, the Procuress and several other women had moved Nasreen to a pallet further away from the fire, leaving a bright red stain of fresh blood on the sheets where she laid just before Aisha left.
No.
Bucket of snow in hand, Aisha walked numbly to her friend’s side.
No.
The Procuress took the bucket and thanked Aisha, instructing her to go outside and get more, but all Aisha could do was stare at the growing stain beneath her friend.
“Is she going to die?” asked Aisha.
“I do not know, child. What I do know is that standing here being afraid accomplishes nothing for your friend,” said the Procuress. “Go get more snow. Our most skilled midwife is here with me. There are times when the fruit of a pregnancy is not fully gone after a miscarriage. Your friend needs to expel the contents of her womb fully, this is why she is bleeding again. If anyone can help her, it is the midwife. She is old and wise and has seen far worse than this, I am sure. But for now, go get more snow. We will pack it around her to cool her blood.”
Aisha took the bucket in her hand and trudged back into the courtyard to gather more snow, not feeling the bite of the cold through the fog in her own mind. Nasreen had tricked her. She had wanted to die all along. Just like Aisha did at the cliff’s edge the night the orphan’s corpse lay in her stead on the funeral pyre. Nasreen was the one who kept her from the cliff’s edge, kept her from giving up when all was lost. Now everything would be lost if she died.
Aisha brought in the bucket and left again to fill another.
What had Nasreen said when she woke after the poison? That she came back for me?
Her hands were numb from the snow, but she continued to fill bucket after bucket.
The Lady wouldn’t bring her back just to take her away again.
Would She?
What did Nasreen say?
Why can’t I remember?
Another bucket of snow. Nasreen’s skin looked blue and grey as the midwife worked.
Is she breathing?
The shallow rise and fall of Nasreen’s breast was small comfort when compared to the growing red stain on the melting snow around her.
Another bucket.
Our lives are fragile.
She said our lives are fragile.
Aisha returned with the bucket to find Nasreen lying alone and still. Her breast did not rise or fall, no matter how long Aisha stared at her friend. Across the room, the midwife washed blood from her hands while the Procuress wept. The sound of the water and the Procuress’ sobs receded into the background as the room went silent and slow around Aisha until the clatter of her snow filled bucket brought everything into sharp focus.
If you have a chance to live, you must take it.
She fled from the room, running as fast as her legs would take her. Down the passageway to the storeroom, through the door. She scrambled over the pile of rubble into the catacombs where she lit the oil lamp, sending shadows writhing across the wall of skulls behind her. Her eyes fell on the bottle of ink at her feet, and she remembered the Holy Mother’s words the first day she stained her hair with its contents.
A guttural scream escaped her lips as she dashed the jar into the jeering skulls behind her. She sat down, defeated and crying. “The Holy Mother is wrong. I am not a parasite. I am not. Nasreen was good, and you took her baby. You took her life! How am I supposed to live now?”
You must go without me.
She took a deep, shuddering breath, then pulled out the drawings of the catacombs she traced what seemed like an eternity ago.
“What am I doing? I don’t even know what these mean!”
They mean there is a chance. A way out.
Aisha thought back to the night she and Nasreen huddled before the fire in the brothel kitchen, Nasreen’s teeth chattering and her hands raw from the cold. Nasreen knew the truth then.
I saw what the strigoi-viu wants us to be. And I cannot be that thing. And neither can you.
Nasreen, in all her beauty and love, could not be molded into something that could survive inside the walls of the temple.
But outside, there was a chance.
Aisha secured the drawings inside the bag of provisions Takri had left for their grand escape and slung it over her shoulder, followed by the wax covered scroll case.
Her friend’s words echoed in her ears as she took her first steps into the catacombs. Promise me that no matter what happens to any of us that you will do whatever you must to survive. Promise me, Aisha.
Aisha’s walk became a run. Further and further into the catacombs, and into the darkness, taking care to keep the wall on her right. If she did so, she would eventually reach the edge of the cliff, and from there she hoped she could find the room Manah took her when she had another name.
Irinya.
A name which Nasreen never called her. A name that died the same night they met.
An image of Nasreen kneeling in the moonlight like the Goddess in captivity flashed in Aisha’s memory, followed by her grey body lying in the bloodstained snow. She choked back tears and kept moving, ever forward.
If you have a chance to live, you must take it.