The artificial sun wakes me on our living block in the central section of Caer Aeternum. I rub my eyes and exit my sleep chamber putting on my blue tunic with a yellow ribbon in my hair. I exit my room and already I hear my father and brother discussing in the kitchen. What is dad upset about today? I wonder to myself as I cross the hallway into the artificially lit kitchen hearing the buzzing of the lamps, I see my mother blissfully ignoring the conversation that is happening 10 feet away, until I enter.
“Did you say your oath?” she asks. I nod and smirk, revealing my lie. “Well you better go do it! Can't start your day without it!” She tries to chase me out of the room with her hands like when I was a kid, making a funny face.
I run out ahead of her giggling and make it to the shrine for the ascendancy. Beginning the oath that I’ve repeated since I could speak. “Order is the shield against chaos; Duty is the blade that defends it.” Just as I have rehearsed it.
“Now go and sit at the table I’ll bring out the nutrients” She says, she leans down close to me. “And just don't pay attention to their argument.” as I get closer to the table, I realize this isnt an argument.
“It’s really an issue of blood” my brother says. “These hybrids don't understand what the universe was like before the Varkh helped them.” His forceful gestures make his frame larger, I just stare at my father, smile on his face.
“That's absolutely right my boy! Once you put the poison in the well, the whole town dies. Need to stop the poison before it reaches the well.” He continues reading his data slate as my mother brings out the paste. Strawberry, the best of the breakfast options, I scoop it with my spoon and shovel it into my mouth as fast as I can. Before I head out for the day to school, I plan to walk with Durna who usually arrives at this time.
Just then, three knocks on the door as I grab my bag filled with my books. “The History of Purity: The Varkh Ascendancy”, “Technology According to Praxis”, and “Biology of the Ascendancy”. Meeting Durna at the door we headed off.
“How was your end-cycle?” I ask her, before answering for myself. “Mine was alright, we went to see a Lineage Re-enactment for Dravenn-kar. Almost fell asleep” I say laughing.
Durna rolled her eyes and said, “ughh, it was alright, father took us to the Edict Archives, apparently a neighbor questioned fathers commitment to the Varkh and we all needed to learn why the Varkh is perfect… IT-WAS-AH-MAY-ZING” she said robotically and began laughing. I joined in, but we quickly saw an older gentleman walk past giving us a serious look, which caused both of us to tighten up.
As we walk, we pass by several shopping centers and within each of them, we see Umbric hybrids that are walking around and interacting in society. I look closer and see that there are brands underneath their ears, tying them to a noble house. “Do you ever wonder why the Kars have hybrids?” I ask Durna.
“That’s just the way it is, they know how to prevent their umbric evils from spreading. That’s what father says. The Kars have the ability to prevent evil from spreading.” She says as if it's a reaction she’s built up over years. “We don't question the Kars. That's like questioning the Imerarch”
We eventually arrived at the school house as Zith came up and blew dust in our faces. We both shouted, laughed, and chased him around the concrete park out in front of the school. We continued to chase him around the park until the bell rang.
The first three classes passed by until I got to history, where we learned about the Astral Forum and the coalition government, made up mostly of pure colonials and hybrids that represent the outer worlds, which debates the laws. I held my hand and asked what the history of the Umbric hybrids was.
“They are a stain upon the Ascendancy. They are proof of the impurity of the other species in the galaxy. They are dependent on chaos to survive through any kind of life, and when they invite that chaos into their lives the lives of those around them are affected as well.” Mr. Drekath sat at the edge of his desk confident in his superiority.
“So, then why do I see umbrics every day? If they bring chaos, why do the Kars invite it to Caer Aeternum?” He straightened up as though he was not expecting this type of question.
“Well… in the history of the ascendancy..” He began to stammer through “the other species have needed… guidance after their… chaos caused the sundering… the Kars are– well– the Kars can provide that guidance.” He looked confidently at me as though that would answer all of my questions.
I just tilted my head and scrunched my nose looking at him. Then I saw the confused faces of my fellow students out of the corner of my eye. This forced me to retreat, I looked down and class proceeded as normal.
Eventually we reached the end of the day and as I was grabbing my bag to take home, a counselor stopped me. “Lyra, follow me to my office please.” The counselor, a man whose broad shoulders strained the fabric of his severe, creased tunic, sat with a ramrod straight posture that spoke of years in the military. We sat at his perfectly managed desk when he asked me pointedly. “I hear you’ve been difficult with some of your teachers, and your fellow students are concerned about your behavior.”
“...” I just looked at him confused as to what he could be talking about, my mind racing. “Is this about me putting a note in Zith’s bag? I didn't mean anything by it, I just know-” he raised his enormous hand to cut me off.
“Thats not what I’m talking about, Lyra, your teacher informed me that you have been expressing sympathetic views towards lower castes… What brought this on?” He asks with a growing sound of feigned concern in his voice.
“Nothing, brought it on, I just noticed there are umbrics walking around Caer Aeternum. No one has given me an answer. If all umbrics are evil. Why are some not?” I look at him expecting an answer. When he chimes in.
“Umbrics are not deserving of your attention or your thoughts. So just ignore them and you'll be okay.” He stood up from behind his desk and shuffled me out of the door.
Durna is standing outside the office when I exit with a look of concern “Lyra, you can’t get in trouble like that, it’ll affect your family soon. Why are you so interested in the Umbrics lately anyway?” She asks, with a growing sound of disgust in her voice.
“Lets just drop it Durna” I say as I start walking past her quickly, and she speeds up to catch up with me. I just walked silently, but while I did I stared across the horizon, truly seeing the full scope of what I was being told to ignore. Hybrids all in various states of destitution, most just begging for a few Karn Marks, while Colonials walked past them and a few even spit on them.
I eventually made it home, saying goodbye to Dorna, I opened the door and my Father was standing there, a mix of disappointment and anger on his face. The counselor had called him, “Lyra Seraphina! What is this I hear about you befriending hybrids at school?!” He shouted at me, aggressively wagging his bony finger in my face.
“I did not! I just asked a simple question, no one can answer it! You raised me to question things! So I’m questioning! If all the umbric hybrids are evil, why are some not?” I look back at him defiantly expecting an answer.
I see his face attempt to comprehend the question, “What do you mean? Where have you been hanging out with Umbrics?” Exasperated, I sigh and he raises his arm to strike me, I cower in response.
“I haven't been hanging out with Umbrics!” I say hiding behind my arm. “I just wanted to know why the Kars own Umbrics. The teacher said that they ‘invite chaos’, but he couldn't tell me.” He doesnt lower his arm, instead he grabs his head.
“Lyra, you do not question the noble houses! Go to your room!” He said as if trying to overcome some ingrained response.
I do as he says and lower my head in response, comprehending the reality. No one will give me an answer. “I’m sorry dad. I won’t do it again, I promise.” I shut the door to my room and sit at my desk in silence letting everything sink in. Am I truly alone?
My mother eventually comes in, holding a bowl of nutrient paste. “Sweetie, are you alright?” She comes over, placing a hand on my shoulder and setting the bowl on my desk.
“...yeah mom, i’m fine…” I sullenly say in response, expecting her to hear the sadness in my voice.
“Okay dear, well your father wants you to stay in here and think about what you’ve done.” she says softly, but I hear simmering beneath is a sadness that feels as though it is bubbling up.
“Mom, I really am sorry, I didn’t think everyone would get so angry over a question. It really won't happen again, I promise.” I say, attempting to convey the honesty behind the words.
“I know sweetie. Sometimes it's just best to keep your thoughts inside.” She says standing in the doorway. “I’ll pick up your dishes after you finish. I’ll try to calm your father down.”
As she closes the door, I pull up the vox caster and flip through the channels until I hear something that cuts through. “-ith the Palmander Society. Our message is simple: The Varkh is lying to you. Empathy isn't a disease! We don't have to choose between kindness and advancement!” I turn the volume down low, making sure that no one outside my room can hear, and I listen closer as the person speaks about everything I’ve been questioning.
I pull out my journal and begin writing my thoughts down. If I didn't have anyone to talk to, I would need somewhere to put my thoughts down. That way I can at least get them out of my head, and I don't have to worry about affecting my family. I spent the rest of the night listening to the words of the Ritha, Harz, and the Palmander Society.
I wake the next day to find my mother and father are waiting for me at the dining table. “Lyra, I spoke with your father. He understands that it was the last time. We just wanted to say that we both love you very much.” My mother attempts to convey the meaning for both of them, while my father stares begrudgingly forward, avoiding looking at me directly.
She nudges him and he snaps out of it, before saying “That's right. Just make sure it was the last time.” he adds on to the end before my mother nudges him again. “...and I-uh love you…” he grumbles out at the end.
I know they mean it, but there's something in them that created a blind spot. I would need to keep my thoughts to myself until I can be old enough to pull this thread all the way and see what unravels.
