I’d like to go deeper.

Okay.

Are you sure? I’m basically going to completely inhabit you. I could see anything.

So?

I might see secret thoughts about Meleng.

I don’t have any secret thoughts about Meleng. I love him. That’s not a secret.

No, but I mean… No, of course not. Sinitïa didn’t have those sorts of thoughts about Meleng. It was something Felitïa still didn’t fully understand about their relationship. How could Sinitïa’s love be so intense without any sexual thoughts at all? It wasn’t like the love of a family member or even a good friend. Sinitïa was in love with Meleng, yet had no sexual desire for him at all. It was perplexing. Felitïa didn’t consider herself in love with Miana, but she was still full of sexual desire for them. Surely being in love would only increase that desire.

What? Sinitïa said.

Oh, nothing. I just want to be absolutely certain you’re sure.

I am. I’m looking forward to it. I think it’ll be kind of fun.

Well, that’s definitely very different from what Zandrue would say.

I’m not Zandrue.

Felitïa chuckled. No, you’re definitely not.

Technically, the purpose of these sessions with Sinitïa was to figure out the Pearl—even though they weren’t using the Pearl on this occasion—but they were nevertheless also helping Felitïa a great deal to use her abilities better.

And getting better was something she was certainly doing.

She was no longer getting lost in the other person’s head or accidentally taking the other person over. She was also able to keep her own identity separate. Mostly anyway. There were sometimes brief moments of confusion, but they never lasted long anymore.

It required so much less effort with Sinitïa, though it wasn’t exactly clear why. Maybe it was because Sinitïa was family, or maybe it was because Sinitïa didn’t have the hang-ups Zandrue had. Either way, Felitïa was gaining a lot more from her time with Sinitïa, and that was helping with Zandrue too. She needed to concentrate more with Zandrue, but she was still able to handle it far more easily than before she’d started with Sinitïa.

Colours swirled about as she sank deeper into Sinitïa’s mind, periwinkle and chartreuse as always, but also numerous others. Once she was settled in Sinitïa’s head, Felitïa turned her attention to Sinitïa’s memories. Simply observing Sinitïa’s thought processes while using the Pearl was not getting anywhere. The best option now was to be completely integrated with her. Soon, Felitïa would do this while they used the Pearl together, but for now, she wanted to view Sinitïa’s full memories of the previous occasions.

An image of a room with ice walls appeared. A somewhat voluptuous Isyar stomped her foot down and Sinitïa copied the action. The image was so clear and precise, down to the coldness of the floor and Sinitïa’s bare feet and the tattoo in the Isyar’s eye, tiny though it was from this perspective. Gods, Felitïa envied Sinitïa’s near-perfect memory.

Who is this? Felitïa asked. Although she was getting better at this, she still had a tendency to slip into a random memory when first starting.

Dark indigo flashed by. It was a name, but unfortunately not one Felitïa had heard, so she couldn’t put a pronunciation to it. She was getting a lot better at translating the colours of Sinitïa’s thoughts, but names were impossible if she’d never heard them aloud before.

I thought she was wonderful, Sinitïa went on. She was going to teach me magic, and she was going to be Jorvan and Feviona’s fomaze, but she betrayed us. She was a Darker.

Oh right, that one. Felitïa had heard a bit of the story from Meleng.

I hate her now. I hope she dies.

Felitïa’s body shivered. The intensity that Sinitïa could hate always took her by surprise. Sinitïa’s head was full of so much love, joy, and general happiness, but there were patches of hatred in there too, and they were intense.

I don’t want to think about dark indigo right now, Sinitïa said.

That’s okay. We don’t have to. I want you to think about the last time you used the Pearl. I want you to remember everything you did and thought.

Okay, that’s easy!

The Isyar faded away, as did the ice walls. In their place, the entranceway of the Hall of Knowledge appeared, and Felitïa found herself staring into her own eyes.

You have beautiful eyes, current Sinitïa said.

Thank you, but let’s stay focused.

Sorry.

It’s fine.

Memory Sinitïa raised the Pearl in her hand, while Memory Felitïa placed her hands on Sinitïa’s shoulders. As Memory Felitïa made mental contact with Sinitïa, current Felitïa turned her attention to Memory Sinitïa’s thoughts. They were a little less clear, but the image that formed in Memory Sinitïa’s head was still clearer than anything Felitïa had ever managed.

A swarm of colours, mostly greys, flashed by, forming the image of the entry chamber of Sinitïa’s rooms at the palace.

Wait, Felitïa said. Go back.

Um, okay.

The memory fell apart into separate colours and reformed at the moment Sinitïa was raising the Pearl again. Colours swarmed in Memory Sinitïa’s head again, forming…

Stop!

...the image of the entry chamber of Sinitïa’s rooms at the palace, and froze.

No, before that.

The memory reformed just before Sinitïa imagined the destination.

No, no. The moment when the image was starting to form, but hadn’t completely formed.

I don’t know if I can do that.

Colours swarmed again, and formed Sinitïa’s room.

Sorry, I’m trying!

I know. It’s all right. I think maybe… Are you okay with me taking control?

What do you mean?

I mean, I take over what you do. You just watch.

That sounds weird, but okay, I guess. There was fear mixed in Sinitïa’s response, but also intrigue and even a little excitement. That counted as consent, Felitïa supposed.

Could she do this? She had taken control of a person before, but only their actions, their bodily movements. Could she take control of memories? Should she? Sinitïa had given consent, but nevertheless, it was bothering. Situations kept coming up where taking control of another person seemed the only option. That was an area she needed to get better at. Not the taking over. The needing to do it. She had to stop.

But this one last time was necessary, wasn’t it?

And Sinitïa had consented.

Gods, she truly was becoming the Will-Breaker.

She sighed. They could find another way. They just needed time.

And how much time would that be? A day? A week? A fucking year?

Fuck it. She was sick of sitting around trying to figure things out while her enemies ran circles around her. The demons could attack again at any moment, and they had no proper defence. It was surprising they hadn’t attacked already.

There was no other choice.

She repositioned herself in the middle of the deepest concentration of chartreuse. In the exact centre were more colours—countless colours. Some of them weren’t even real ones—at least, not ones anyone would ever see with their eyes. These were unique to Sinitïa’s subconscious. Carefully, Felitïa nudged one of those colours. It took just a little concentration to make a little push.

That tickles, Sinitïa said.

Sorry.

That’s okay. It’s just a little weird. My arm just moved, even though I didn’t tell it to.

I didn’t actually mean to move your arm. I’m still working things out a bit.

I understand.

Felitïa nudged a few more colours, and Sinitïa’s head turned, which was again not what she wanted. She needed to access memories. She moved a few more colours.

This is kind of fun, Sinitïa said. Did you know your mind is really big?

Is it? What do you see?

It’s hard to describe, just that it’s really big. Like you’re really smart and powerful.

Dimensions can be strange in the mental landscape.

I don’t really know what that means.

Felitïa mentally chuckled. It means what you see might not be accurate. My mind’s probably not that big. It only seems that way, probably because of what I’m doing.

You don’t have to feel guilty about what you’re doing.

I’m not.

Yes, you are. I can see your thoughts too. Or hear them, I guess. Something like that? It’s really weird that you think in words, Anyway, I know you feel guilty about controlling me, but I told you it was okay. The only way to stop the demons is with Rudiger’s sword. To get that, we need to use the Pearl, and I’ll do anything to stop the Tall Man. He hurt Melly. Do whatever you have to.

Felitïa mentally smiled, and as she did so, Sinitïa’s body smiled as well. She was getting the hang of this now, and she knew what she needed to do. Think about the moment again, she told Sinitïa.

Once again, the entry hall of the Hall of Knowledge formed in Sinitïa’s head along with the image of Felitïa in front of her. This time, as Memory Sinitïa raised the Pearl and thought of the entry chamber of her rooms at the palace, Felitïa reached into the memory and blocked any further progress. It was like she stuck her hand in it and held it back. Obviously, it wasn’t exactly like that, but that seemed the best analogy.

Oh. That...that’s weird. The colours of Sinitïa’s words were dulled, like she was far off.

This won’t take long. Felitïa let the memory move forward but slowly. No, it was still too fast. The entry chamber image was already mostly formed. She pushed it back earlier. Slowly, it disassembled to the moment just before it formed. Felitïa stopped it there, then moved it forward again, one moment at a time. It was impossible to tell how much time each “moment” represented, but it had to be a tiny fraction of a second.

Colours moved in. First a light grey, almost white. Then an ever-so-slightly darker grey. More greys and a blue or two. Other colours followed, even periwinkle. At this “moment”, they did not form a discernible image, only a jumble of colours, but from moment to moment, they blended and slowly created the image.

I don’t remember this part, Sinitïa said, her colours still dulled. Or, do I? I kind of do.

This is your subconscious memory. The stuff you do without even realising it.

A dark charcoal grey entered the mix, and as it did, a slight flash emitted, leaving the image instead of joining it.

What was that? Sinitïa asked.

Gods, I’m an idiot! We knew you were doing this without knowing what you were doing. Your subconscious should have been the first place I checked.

A carbon grey entered the mix, and another flash left it. Then coral and another flash.

More colours entered, but there were no more flashes. Then the image formed fully and the Pearl activated.

That’s it, Felitïa said.

Three colours, Sinitïa said. Charcoal, carbon, coral. Is that the code?

Felitïa stepped out of Sinitïa’s subconscious and gave her back control. I think so. We need to test it first, but I’m pretty sure that’s it. Gods, I’m an idiot.

Don’t say that. Melly says if you say something like that too much, you start to believe it. I used to believe it.

Good advice, Felitïa said.

How did I know? Sinitïa asked. I mean, how did my sub-whatsit know?

Your subconscious, and you didn’t know. You just have such a perfect recall of images, all the colours needed are naturally there. Most people don’t create such perfect images. They might have grey in their image, but they wouldn’t have so many subtle differences.

How do they get the right image then?

I don’t think the image needs to be perfect, just reasonably close. As long as you imagine the colours, possibly in succession—I’m not sure if the order is important—the Pearl takes you where you want to go. It would explain what happened to Zandrue, too. Dyle had enough time to imagine the colours, but didn’t really know where he wanted to go, so they ended up somewhere random. Or perhaps he had started to think of somewhere similar. Maybe he even want to go specifically there. It’s hard to say. We still don’t know how to take a second person. Let’s tell the others, shall we?

Okay.

Felitïa stepped out of Sinitïa’s head and back into her own. She nodded to Mikranasta, and the shield warped, removing Sinitïa’s presence from the Room, and wrapping itself back around only Felitïa. The Room was stark in its emptiness again. Hopefully, the shield would not be necessary much longer. Surely, Mikranasta would acknowledge she was improving enough to not need it.

“We did it!” Sinitïa jumped up and down. “Charcoal, carbon, and coral!”

Hearing the words rather than seeing colours was jarring, and made Felitïa’s head hurt. Or maybe it was already hurting. Someone also had their arms around her.

Agernon rose from the chair he was sitting in by the wall. “Slow down! Those are colours?”

“Shades of grey,” Felitïa said, turning her aching head. It was Zandrue holding her.

“You fell and hit your head on the table,” Zandrue said.

“I did?”

Zandrue nodded.

The sound of Agernon’s cane clacking as he crossed the library was annoyingly loud and made her head hurt more. She reached out for a chair by the table.

Zandrue helped her to sit. “I wasn’t sure if you needed to be in the same spot you were before you fell, and Mikranasta was vague in her response, so I thought it best to hold you.”

“Thanks,” Felitïa said.

“What happened?”

“I left my body entirely to take control of Sinitïa. Even then, I was too focused on her, I didn’t watch what was going on. I really should pay more attention to my surroundings.”

“Indeed,” Mikranasta said.

Agernon sat beside her. “I’m supposed to know the difference between these shades?”

His voice grated and she groaned.

“Sorry,” he said, more softly. “Take your time.”

“Agernon checked you over,” Zandrue said. “He said you’re going to be fine.”

“You’ll just have a headache for a little while,” Agernon said.

“No shit,” Felitïa said. “As for the answer to your question, you’ll need to learn the difference. Sinitïa, can you help?”

Sinitïa nodded several times in quick succession. “I’ll mix up the colours and paint them so people can know what they look like.” She looked ready to bolt for the door.

Felitïa held up her hand. “Before you do that, though, we have to be absolutely sure.” She held out her hand to Agernon. “The Pearl?”

He eyed her. “You sure you feel up to it? You don’t want to wait until your head feels better?”

“I’m already feeling a little better,” she lied.

He grinned. “That’s my girl.” He fished out the pouch and shook the Pearl into her hand.

Felitïa closed her hand around it, and stood up. She looked to Mikranasta. “I’m only going to go across the room, so you don’t need to worry about me leaving the range of the shield.”

Mikranasta bowed her head in response.

Felitïa took several deep breaths, and wrapped the diamond walls around the pounding in her head so she didn’t have to put up with it for a few moments.

Charcoal. Carbon. Coral. She imagined the colours in her head, each stacked on top of the other, charcoal on the top and coral on the bottom. There were three brief flashes. Then she thought of the space by the west door. She didn’t look at it, didn’t even form much of an image in her head. She just decided that was where she wanted to be.

And then she was.

There was only a slight tingle in her chest and she was staring at the closed door, which was only inches in front of her. Smiling, she turned around to face the others.

Sinitïa was bouncing about with unrestrained excitement, and Felitïa could barely stop herself bouncing about too.

“We did it!” Felitïa exclaimed. “We finally did it!”

Zandrue rushed over to her and they hugged tightly, spinning slightly as they did. Sinitïa soon joined them, and they spun around, laughing and crying tears of happiness.

At last, something good. Some actual real progress.

They still had to figure out how to take a second person. She couldn’t collect Rudiger otherwise. But gods, it still felt good.