Feathers on the Wind

Year of Wrath 1231, Season of Harvest, D.65

     "Child, please," Mother huffed as we climbed up the mossy hill. "I am too old for this, what was so important that we needed to come all the way out here?" She leaned on her staff, needing the extra support.

     "Mother, I told you already, there is a view you simply must see." I said excitedly, my ears flaring out with anticipation.

     "Calm down girl, that's unsightly.” Frowning at my ears, “ So, you've said, but we are getting a bit close to the harpy brood are we not? Chief had said the hag was not happy with us getting so close again. I'd really rather not risk an attack if we have the choice." She tisked back to me. Mother as always apparently, her chiding us at our ears being out when we weren’t hunting or raiding always seemed to be a backdrop complaint with her. 

     "Oh don't worry about that" Mother looked over at me, her brow raised. Sweat beading on her face as she held her aching back. The memory of helping our soon-to-be chauffeur passed through my mind again. Limping back to the broodlair with him, tired, exhausted from supporting the bird-brained fool. Then Cree’ari giving me her feathers. I only felt comfortable coming this deep into the forest with them in my hair, I tricked Mother long ago into wearing them as decoration. 

     I put my shoulder under hers and supported her. She wrapped her frail arm around my waist. It worried me to see how much weaker she had become after the Ceremony, she was never this weak before even for her age. We continued to walk as she used the staff as a crutch. We had just entered the ancient part of the forest, where the rock wall jutted up out of the ground. I whispered a soft prayer, "Bhal, grant us the strength to withstand the forest's spirit and his tricks." while heaving Mother up the escarpment.

     "We really should have brought one of the raiders, Daughter." She was breathless as she swung around and sat down. Dangling her legs off the small cliff face, resting her staff in her lap. Kari looked down at it with a small frown on her face. I knew she promised to help me make my own one day, but these days…

     Sitting beside her, I smiled. "I am a raider, Mother. Just wait, this will be a surprise for you, one that you will not forget."

“You are a raider no more. You are my acolyte and someday Priestess of our clan.” Kari said with a deeper frown, “Just because you were trained as one, your rose to become a Raid Leader, does not mean you stay one forever. Your role has changed, and you must be aware of that.”

     “I know that, it just takes time to get used to, Mother.” Flashing a bright smile at her always melted her, and breathed a sigh of relief as it worked. I whistled a soft tune, slow and melodic. Ghet had taught me how to mimic the birds in the forest a few years back, before I was allowed to leave the village. I remembered being so curious about the singing birds in the forests around the village, and pestering Ghet relentlessly until he told me everything he knew about all of them. Only this bird song, I added a few personal touches. A few extra notes to fill out the melodies of natural bird songs. 

     Mother had flattened her ears against her head to listen and she hummed along softly as I continued. A wonderful crescendo and an uplift in octave, a few of the birds I was mimicking fluttered from branch to branch trying to figure it out.  A sparrow, a morning lark, one of those strange little parakeets that had the tail of a hawk. All trying to get closer to hear the sound better.

     Personally, the parakeets were the most interesting. Their bright colors always stood out as they flitted through the dense leaf cover. When they flared their feathers out, vaguely looked like flowers. They added beauty to the otherwise dark green of the tree tops. Soon the whole area around us was starting to gather dozens of birds. The parakeets trying to mimic my song, but not quite getting the beat right. Mother had started adding her own notes to it, complimenting the tune. When I had grown tired of my song, the birds continued it for me without complaint. I'm sure this would turn into a new call for them eventually. A new song to add to the music of the woods.

     "I didn't realize you had such a call to nature, Ilgor." Mother said, still humming the echo of the song, bobbing her head in time with the rhythm.

     "I didn't, well, not until recently. Caleb had accidentally taught us something while we were drinking with him not too long ago. He told us to stop using magic around him, but we didn't know we were using it. Said it was tonal in nature." I kicked my legs back and forth off the edge of the ledge, leaning my head back thinking back to that night. "Well, it turns out, we are actually using magic when we speak Mother. Not intentionally anyway."

     "The priestess of old would speak of it from time to time. Though we have had such little contact with the outsiders that we don't notice it much anymore." She turned to me, leaning in a little "Does it really not work on us? I've never gotten the opportunity to try!" her smile was infectious. 

     "Well Caleb described our magic as something unique to us, to our people. He had said he'd never heard of such an ability before, but described it as somewhat jarring when many of us spoke at once." I smiled thinking back to that moment of camaraderie. "Told us just to imagine our voice as a wave coming from us and to pressure it with our mind. Well, it worked anyway, I can control it now, I was using it while whistling. I suppose that's why all the birds stayed to listen. They didn’t used to do that, they’d stop for a moment then move on. Caleb said it grabbed people's attention, and kept it there, but didn't force them to stay. It works on animals too." Grinning at Mother, who had a look of pride in her eyes. 

     "Let me try," She said. She pointed to a bird still in the trees and waved her arm around while speaking to it, it didn't leave. She continued speaking, "Such a lovely coat of feathers you have!" The bird hopped nearer and she giggled with delight. Whistling to it, it hopped nearer still.

"It really does work! I never knew!" She leaned back, I heard her back crack, smile still radiant on her aged face. A stray ray of sunlight pierced through the canopy, making her eyes seem to glow. The sound of far off beating wings was just becoming barely audible.

     The low sound of something bigger, deeper was growing closer now. Like the gentle wing beats of an owl. The subtle sound of claws gripping a branch, scraping against the moist bark of the upper canopy. Mother jumped when she saw the harpy. 

     "Sh'ril! It's wonderful to see you again!" I opened my arms wide, as I chirped at him. He smiled down at me in that awkward grimace. He couldn’t quite figure out how to do it right. 

     "Ilgor, no? Why are you in territory? I heard the song again." He said, making everything sound like a question. 

     "Daughter, you know this beast?" Sounding astounded, like this couldn't be possible, visibly growing nervous and angry. 

     "He isn't a beast, Mother." I chided her, "He is as intelligent as you or me, he had overheard me practicing my bird calls one day, and flew over to investigate. Been friends ever since." Though, that was only a half truth I knew. But, she didn’t need to know that now. 

She only nodded and returned her gaze to the red feathered harpy in the tree, frown never having left. She stood up and an aura of magic emanated from her. "Mother, what are you doing?" I asked her, getting slightly worried. I didn’t know she used her magic much, until I started learning the holy books with her. It never occurred to me how many of her prayers were actually magic. 

     "Asking Bhal to allow no lies here." She said as the sphere of magic grew to encompass the harpy, who squawked when it finally touched him. Shaking the wings on his back, as he tried to throw off the odd feeling pricking the skin. I could feel it too, like a slight itch. I remembered that passage from the books too, it wasn’t the complete prayer, but it was effective. I just wondered how much of the holy books would end up being a spellbook. 

     "Why are you not attacking us, really, vulture." She questioned him, frown on her face. The tap of her staff against the rock, echoing through the trees. Silenced even the birds around us.

     Like a specter in the night, anger in his voice. "She is a friend, she brings food every once and a while. She is always kind to me and the sisters, she's pretty. Why would I attack you? The broodmother, Cree’ari may have differing opinions, but I know she isn’t a threat. You however, seem to be a different story." His talons dug deep into the tree branch, shards of bark falling away.

     Mother hummed in a thoughtful tone, "Where is the hag?"

     "Cree’ari is hunting, doesn't know you are here. Only one other sister knows you are in our territory." He pitched his tone up and down, but still lilted upwards at the end of each sentence. 

     "Will she attack us if we are seen?" She pressed on, the pressure of her magic growing. 

     "Mother, what is the point of this? Why are you insulting him?" I asked her, putting my hand on her shoulder. “When I became an ally to the Harpies, Cree’ari gave me the feathers in our hair. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but they do grant us the right to be here.” 

     She huffed and didn't answer me. She only turned back to Sh'ril, his avian eyes locked on her. "Why bother with all this, why stay here if we are already here."

     "Already answered you, Mother. Besides, I can't, that foul magic won't let me even change my words. I have to say what comes to mind." He huffed right back. Kari’s eyebrows twitched at him using our term for her correctly. 

     "Anyway, Mother. Sh'ril was supposed to show up when I whistled that song. He is here to show you what I wanted you to see. He has the strength to take us up to one of the tallest trees in the Ancient Forest. He built a nest up there a few years back, but didn't like it enough to actually use it. I spotted it and asked about it." Quietly silencing her spell and it slowly faded from the air, as I distracted her. The sense of relief on Sh’ril’s face as the spell melted away made me feel better about the incident. 

     She whipped her head back at me and her mouth dropped open. "So that's what you were talking about when you spoke of a view?"

     "Yes, I wanted to show you something special, but you wanted to go right to mistrust and blame. Now I'm wondering if I should even ask my friend here if he'd be willing to help." Twisting the nail into her, most of the clan was like this though. Immediately distrustful of outsiders, regardless of who or what they were. It's just the way they were, it's how we survived.

     She paused and took a deep breath. Sighing heavily, she said turning to the harpy still perched in the tree. "I am sorry Sh'ril, I am a woman of habit, stuck in my ways. I apologize for questioning you after Ilgor was excited to see you." Dipping her head and opening her arms in a small bow. 

     There was a long pause as I watched him thinking, his eyes flicking between me and her. He fluffed out the feathers on his chest, in a gesture I was starting to learn meant the same thing as a sigh, "Very well, Mother. I accept." Turning to me, then said, "The usual method?" I nodded. 

     Kari looked over at me confused and mouthed the words "The usual method?" I only grinned at her, the heavy swoosh of wings as they enveloped both of us. The jerk away from the earth was always the worst part if you asked me. The feeling of weightlessness, the acceleration as Sh'ril pumped his wings into a straight up flight path. His strong arms gripping both of us around the waists, carefully keeping his talons from digging into flesh. Being in the air, for whatever reason, felt right to me.

     We broke through the canopy in a flurry of feathers and leaves. They danced around us as time seemed to slow as I watched Mother's eye grow wide as the scene unfolded before her. The glittering light off the bay, gently crashing waves into the bluffs; audible over the canopy. High enough that the clouds rolled through the top of the trees. Sh’ril landed on a dense platform of sticks, letting go of us. 

     A cloud enveloping the large nest, humid air filled our lungs. Barely able to see Mother stare in wonder as the world vanished around us. After it had passed, Mother was lost in the scene. I wondered when she had become aged, the canyons through her skin and the rivers that made them. Her faded auburn hair grey streaking through the roots, still in the tight braid that she had taught me how to do. Her once bright purple eyes, dimmer, dark careworn circles under them. She turned to me and smiled, everything else didn’t seem to matter as much.

     Enjoying the view as Sh'ril flew off, he said he'd be back in a little while. Great shadows moved across the bay as the clouds made their sojourn across the sky. The gentle breeze cresting the waves of the emerald tinted waters brilliantly. We watched as one of the City's great passenger barges passed lazily along the horizon, steam joining the clouds from the stacks. The canopy of the forest far below us, mimicking the sea, a thoughtful pantomime of waves swaying in time with that same wind.

     This time of year the wind blew constantly from the north to southwest, while it wasn’t cold yet, the warm bay kept the region hot and humid as the winds crashed against the mountains behind us. The tree top above us offered us shade from the hot autumnal sun. We swung our legs off the edge of the nest, getting comfortable to watch the world pass below us. I couldn't help but appreciate the feeling of being, in the moment, in this time, with the woman that had helped shape me and the clan so much. A brief relief to the constant feeling of exhaustion from my lack of sleep. I was happy to show her something she had never seen before, she was lost in thought, staring out, watching the canopy sway lazily.

     Smiling, but feeling melancholy touch my voice, looking down at my feet, I spoke. "We were on a battlefield, the smoke filled the air snuffing out the sunlight.” Mother had turned her attention to me, looking at me from the corners of her eyes, “It turned the sky a hazy blood red. The song of ringing steel all around me, the screaming, the roars of the armies. Only, it felt right, like it was my only purpose of being. At the time I felt such a surety in my soul, that I was absolutely right about my actions. "

     Nodding slowly, placing her staff across her legs. "Mine started on a battlefield as well. Just the same, the air filled with hazy smoke, an incomprehensible army at my command. I remember being a raider like you, but the feeling of steel in my hand was… exalting. Was Bhal at the top of the hill? Overseeing the war? " She asked me, with a touch of reverence to her voice.

     "Yeah, he was.” I paused as I relived the memory, slightly surprised that she had experienced the same battle. “Only I didn't realize it was him, I only thought he was the War Chief, a mighty warrior. The sense of pride I had as I fought through that army, it was like nothing else." I felt profoundly uncomfortable talking about my Dream, after that giant... I still felt wrong. Something in my mind just wouldn’t forget the look on that thing's face.

     But, Mother knew I was uncomfortable about this, maybe not to the full extent. I had spent the last month mostly refusing to talk about the ceremony. Even while she taught me the more complicated tenets of our faith, she would always try and get me to open up about it. She would always say that our experiences in the Dream would dictate what we still had left to learn.

     She smiled at me and asked me to continue placing one of her weathered hands on my knee. "I had these abilities, things I feel like I could still do! Given time anyway, I was unstoppable. A god's avatar in the flesh," gesturing with my hands, I cupped the air between them, "Power given form and direction, my voice commanded the very air and stone, mind and body. It was amazing!" I trailed off, the moment hung there for a while.

     "Bhal gifts us that power, gifts us all of our abilities. Our strengths, our confidence, our uniqueness. He is our loving Father, we simply cannot let him down. How could we? He has given us so much.” She grabbed my hand and the pride in her face before me, “Just look at you, Ilgor. I’ve gotten to see you grow up, to see what you have become, and what you will do after. You are a strong leader, a phenomenal combatant. You are loving, and thoughtful to all of the family. I simply couldn’t ask more from you, but our journeys won't end until we do. We must continue on, as Bhal wishes. I can see in you, the potential to reach heights unparalleled.”

She continued, “In time, I hope you will learn to appreciate his odd way of loving us, he pushes us to challenge ourselves, to make ourselves better." She said, pride in her tone. Pride built by the many years of building our Clan, the strength and prosperity it was now, guiding the many Chiefs in her lifetime to do better. To be the absolute best they could be, she pushed hard.

     I looked down at the empty air between my feet, feeling strange, not quite hopeful but also something else colored that feeling too. Like a dash of paint mixing when you didn’t want them too.”Then why does Bhal not appear to us like he once did?” I asked, though this was a question many of the Clan had over time, Kari ignored it for now. I wondered if he would be able to give me that power again. With that, the family would be safe from anything as long as I was alive. No threat was too great, no challenge too mighty to overcome. I could teach the Clan how to use their voices more, I could teach them to be better. A twinge of excitement permeated my soul. Though something still felt off, something out of place, a rock too large at the bottom of a wall so that it always appeared crooked. 

     Sighing, not wanting to talk about that rotten thing, but I felt that Mother would have something to say about it. Maybe she could tell me why I doubted, a lesson to teach me. "I had torn down the city walls with just a touch, just a gentle touch as I made it brittle with my song. Stormed the central Cathedral, leading the army closer to victory, for the glory of Father. Only," I paused, shuddering as I saw the giant’s face swim in memory again  "A rotten, hollowed out giant showed up, it towered over everything. Taller than even the Cathedral Bhal had wanted."

I turned to her, a sense of awe to my voice "It was covered in eyes, millions of them. Every shade and shape you could think of, all of them looking at me. Looking through me, like I was the center of everything, that nothing else mattered to it. I brought it to its knees and was about to smite it when I noticed my army was gone. Not just gone, but dead, left rotting under the crimson sky. The clouds of flies and the stench of rot.." My voice cracked, I didn't tell her that the giant had made me feel such an immense sense of doubt in my actions, she didn't need to know yet.

She frowned, but asked me to continue anyway. "I let my guard down, and the giant grabbed me, but the great warrior showed up and killed it at the last moment, setting it ablaze with that Golden Spear. I felt safe as he held his hand out to me." A faint smile crossed my face, the ghost of a feeling. Lifting my head back up to see that Mother had a worried expression on her face. "Is everything alright, Mother?"

     She quickly looked back out to the sea of trees swaying in the breeze, "It's nothing, Bhal had saved you in the end, just as he had in my dreams." But the worry never left her face, that wasn't what I was expecting. "Our loving Father saw you suffering and rushed to aid you. To help you through your struggles, as he helps us through all our struggles here on the mortal plane. "She rose and pointed out near the edge of the forest. A great winged bird had reappeared over the top of the canopy, "That must be Sh'ril, let's get going then"

     I got up and reached for her frail hand, delicate in my grasp. "Mother, I just wanted to say, thank you for spending this time with me today. It was a lovely view wasn't it?" A big grin that touched my eyes.

     Her worried look melted away and smiled back at me. "Yes, Illy, this was a lovely moment we shared today."

***

Kari:

     I walked along the soft sand, listening to the waves cresting on the beach. The stars filled the sky with their splendor, like a backlit canopy with holes pinned through it. The bright amber and beryl green nebulas spun slowly in the heavens, the constellations acting out their stories for all to see. The entire scene before me on the dark amethyst sky as their stage. I thought back to what she had told me as I began walking out on the submerged isthmus leading out to the rocks just past the natural break waters. 

     "What was she talking about, a giant with a million eyes? The army behind her, dead?" I combed back in my memory to try and remember if my Mother had mentioned anything about it. I vaguely remembered something about an old legend, a hazy distant memory. Like trying to see through a dense foggy morning, "No, Mother had said she was told it by her Mother, and the one before her." Whispering to myself. 

     I felt a small reef shark swim past my legs, but I paid it no mind. I continued staring up at the late night sky, walking with my staff clasped behind my back. "Bhal, you never intervened in my Dream. So, why did Ilgor get such special treatment?" Asking out loud, never once expecting an answer. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy when she told me that. My sweet young girl's face swam before my eyes as I thought back to the conversation today. She seemed scared, worried or at least not telling me something. 

I remembered so long ago, just a babe. She was the same way back then, our raiders having brought back the bodies of the parents of our now orphaned children. It was so long before Illy smiled again, even longer before she would speak the names of her parents. But, I was patient then, I was nurturing then as I was with all the Orphans. I would be so again for my Daughter. Her smile was so bright when she called me her mother for the first time, I never had the heart to correct her. She needed me as much as I needed her. 

     Then again, she clearly had a very difficult Ceremony. She still woke up occasionally screaming, flecks of snow pockmarking the air every time with her uncontrolled magic. It had gotten so bad last week that Ilgor needed to have the Family watch over her while she slept. So that they could quickly draw the holy symbols I taught them to quiet her pain. She nearly froze the cave in a blanket of ice last time. She was never aware of what she was doing until she calmed down, until she was fully conscious. I would need to triple my efforts to teach her to control her magic even in her sleep.

     Bhal had certainly granted her a deep connection to her voice. "What were the words those humans used, traumatized? Was that the word?  Yes that's the word, she has been traumatized by the experience, hopefully she will grow past this. Then again, she did open up a little today. She outright refused to talk about it at all, until now." I said to the empty night air as I slowly made my way out on the strip of land.

     The marquee of the clear night sky, silhouetted the breakwaters. Large black rocks that jutted out into the bay. Many years back, the City had attempted to place a lighthouse here in our territory to keep ships from crashing on the rocks still below water. We had made the lighthouse keepers leave with persistent raids on the structure. All that was left now was the foundation. Just barely recognizable now due to the sea's endless crush, only a circle of black algae covered bricks was left.

     Nearly halfway out to the rocks as I was waist deep in the warm water. The void in the sky at the horizon telling me where the rocks were. "Bhal never intervened directly like that, not in any of my dreams had he just destroyed a problem. He always wanted me to do it, however I could." I repeated to myself. The weight of the water pushed against my legs as I neared the rocky outcrop. 

     "I should start teaching her meditation to help calm her nerves, it certainly helped me. Ibering always made the clan a bit better, Knoll and the others certainly did. Quieted the mind like a charm, I wonder if I taught her more about it, she could dive deeper into that trance. It would also help teach her to put herself in the right frame of mind when drawing on Bhal's power." Muttering to myself, letting one of my hands run over the top of the water as the slope started to rise. 

     Two other figures were already sitting on top of the rocks. I couldn't make out what they were saying as their voices were lost in the sound of the waves smacking the rock face. Only I kept walking, though it wasn't particularly odd to see anyone out here. It was a popular spot for the Clan to think, many times I could think of having conversations with various Chiefs and friends out here. 

     "I'm not sure Ghet" I heard Ilgor’s soft voice say.

     "It's up to you, I know you’re havin a hard time, I understand that. But, you need to grow past this, I know you have it in you." Ghet’s persistent optimism, ever present as always.

     "It's not that easy, you know. Every time I close my eyes, I see those horrors. It's like they haunt my every move, I don't know what they are, or what they even want. That corpse woman stalks my dreams." I heard her voice crack, and Ghet put his arm around her "I haven't been able to sleep for weeks, nightmares every night. I appreciate what everyone is trying to do, but I don't think it's helping."

     "It would help if you told us what these horrors are. You talk in your sleep now, you keep saying things like, 'not again' 'where did you go', who are you talking about Ilgor?" the touch of concern in his voice, echoing my thoughts exactly. Though new questions popped into my mind. Horrors? They followed her?

     "No, I'm not talking about that." She quickly snapped. I leaned my back against the rock wall under them, listening to them talk. The rock, still warm from the sun today, a true wonder on my old back.

     "You sound happy sometimes too, you know. Like there's a break of peaceful dreams in your sleep. You did say a name I'd never heard before, 'Vilorlith' is the name you said." Something felt familiar about that name, though I know I had never heard it before. Like something long ago forgotten, or a word said but not understood. 

     "No one ever said their names in my Dream. Are you sure I wasn't just babbling?" Ilgor asked Ghet, I could hear one of them move as their scabbards scraped against the rock.

     "Yeah, Yvet heard it too, as we took turns watching over you."

     Looking up at the two, I saw Ilgor lean her head against Ghet's shoulder "I didn't ask you to do that." She wasn’t angry, nor annoyed. It sounded helplessly grateful. 

     "No, but I've known you since you were a little girl, both of us have. We are worried about you, you do know that don't you? We need you back, back to your old self, girl." He ruffled her hair as he spoke. “Yvet wants to see you back to normal more than any of us anyway.”

     The muffled grunt was more than enough to tell me ghet got an elbow in the side, she laughed anyway. There was a long break in the conversation. The sound of the waves rushing over the rocks in a steady, constant rhythmic pace. A slight wind had picked up and tossed the smell of the sea higher into the air. It was well past midnight, a few more hours before dawn. Perfect night for stargazing though, the moon sitting low on the horizon still, not a cloud in sight. 

     "I think something happened in my dream that wasn’t supposed to happen." Her voice breaking the comfortable silence.

     There was a pause as I assumed Ghet had just gone through several scenarios in his head on how to approach Ilgor talking about this. He always did that, when someone wanted to talk about something emotionally charged. He was like that with me when I lost my first child. "Why do you say that?" He finally asked, he didn’t turn to look at her, only watched the constellations slowly turn.

     "Mother… when I talked about it a little today. She got a strange look on her face when I told her about something."

     "Would you be comfortable telling me about it? I know it is a challenge for you, but sometimes we just need to face the danger and challenge it ourselves." Spoken like a true raider of the clan. She paused and then recounted the Dream with Ghet, without the sense of awe in her voice this time. She only sounded tired, adding more to the story as well. Like how the giant had made her feel small, vile in her actions. Or the horror she felt as Bhal had slew it.

     "So you think this Giant wasn't supposed to be there?" Ghet asked.

     "No, Mother looked so worried when I told her about it. I don't really even want to mention the other things then." Her voice grew sheepish and soft as she finished her thought "Those horrors I keep going on about."

     "But didn't you tell me that there had been some kind strangers in the middle of it?" he sounded genuinely curious, as was I. “There were four of them, one looking an awful lot like us? You said you felt calm, protected, happy with them.” 

     "That's something I'm hesitant to tell her about, too.” I could hear her struggle to keep talking. Not crying, but exhausted. “Ghet, I just really want to stop talking now."

     Ghet, to his credit, stayed silent. I didn't need to see him to know he held her tighter. I started walking back to shore and left them alone. I had a feeling that they were going to sit there the rest of the night, while Ghet tried to slowly pry more information out of her. Cori would have done better here, but Ghet was very gentle when he needed to be. I had known him for his entire life, only being slightly younger than me, enough to know that he was attempting to help her heal from this. That he thought that getting her to talk about the storms in her mind would help.

     He never changed, while one of our best raiders, one of our most brutal combatants, he always had a soft spot for the girls of the Clan when they were upset. Even after the events that made Illy an orphan, even after his self imposed exile, even after I welcomed him back into the clan. I remembered a few times he did the same thing with me, we were much younger, but he always kept that kind heart.