Chapter ##: Meeting "I"

There I sit on my knees, completing the ritual the same as those before me. I have seen the differences in the quality and power of those spirits summoned by my friends who accompany me and the natives hidden within the sanctuary buried deep in these strange lands. The friends I Journey with have summoned much greater existences, I see the authority hidden beneath the appearance they’ve shown, they have done nothing but… I still worry. I do not know who I will summon and what or whose attention I will attract. This causes me to feel… What is this emotion again? Oh yes, it is fear… fear huh? I have not truly felt such a thing in… ah I do not remember the last time I truly felt it. No, what should I do? do I continue to follow my friends lead? I might find everything I desire, I might achieve the freedom from the fate that binds me, but… will I just bring about a calamity that corresponds to the fate I am trying to escape. Wait, I know, I remember the last time I felt fear. It was that rainy twilight I sat there on my knees unable to move as I watch my Father trade his life to correct the mistakes I made, my own failures taking away my family, yes that was fear, I have always had greater talent, decisiveness, drive, this is what leads me to my destructions time and time again, but it is this that allows me to control the fate I tread and protect those I can, to fulfil the responsibilities I have placed upon myself when I activated that contract ingrained into my flesh and soul. Yes I know the correct answers now, I will complete the ritual but not in hope of salvation, power, answers, no I will complete it to be witnessed, to be recognized and thus tighten my binds and allow greater weight to be thrust upon me. Only when I hold so much weight will they be free.

I begin the ritual, and as I am not trying to summon with a purpose or to fulfil a contract I change the words at the last moment. “In. My. Name.  I… call upon all the spirits who hear my voice and feel my existence to see me and prove the weight of I upon the strings of fate, Look, hear, feel my very being for I AM ASHAI” as I completed the ritual the priests surrounding me shake and drop down and prostrate themselves in fear at the recklessness of my actions. NO… who,.. no what,. no why did I change my actions, why did I change my purpose. I feel it, the whole world felt as if it went still, like the air surrounding us became solid, unmovable, and a weight fell upon the bodies of everyone in the sanctuary. I am stuck, I cannot move my body, my head already raised peering into the sin I committed. I look forward as a blurry indistinct door appears, I have summoned it, its size illusory, fleeting like looking at a piece of dust floating in the wind, as well as towering beyond the world beyond all reason deep into the universe itself. No I will not, No I cannot, No I have not paid such a price to allow such a summoning. So who, what has paid this price, what I have I called, why have I called it. The door begins to open and through it a colorless mist leaks out. Inside lights and colors blend together in a fashion I do not understand, terrains of all combinations converge and diverge endlessly, eminent spirits much greater than any seen previously, with sizes and shapes I cannot grasp, the surroundings seem to change at will due to these creatures, they appear to each enforce some form of will upon the spirit world causing their immediate surroundings to mold to their rules and belief. Then I feel it, I feel all of them turning towards me, I am confused. This has not happened to any of the natives or my friends, spirits are meant to be strange beings who only care about the rules they have created and aesthetics they find pleasing, so why have they all turned towards me. NO they have begun moving towards the door, I am helpless to stop it, I can’t do anything but keep watching. “NO” a voice with the sounds and wills of an infinite amount overlaying one another is released from the depths of the spirit world, I feel it, I feel their weight, and I know what paid the price to open such a door. 

I look into the depths as best I can trying to see past the endless mist in my way and there I see it, I know it, NO now it knows me, it appears to be everything, it is all forms imaginable, from a single human entity as well as the entirety of the universe from its beginning to its end all at once with every possibility playing out all together simultaneously. Then I see, it sees, we all see, from the smallest particle to the largest existence collectively turn to look at me, we, us, I. NO what, No who, no… no?  What is, what will, what has, we are all, NO you are not WE NO STOP I am “I” the voice has sounded once more, our voice has grown louder. I, WE, US feel the GAZES GAZES GAZES they are too many, I can’t comprehend, blood flows from my eyes and OUR body falls apart each cell collapsing at the same time. I feel it, they are converging.. the weight grows upon ME, US NO NO No? WE look upon ourselves OUR GAZES GAZES they conjoin for WE ARE ONE, yes NO yes NO we are all, STOP I AM “I” the voice rages through both worlds once again, what is happening, I don’t know, WE don’t remember all WE know is the ever growing weight of the GAZES yes yes yes they grow ever so, slowly slowly slowly WE become ONE once more ah yes being complete again will bring ME, US, I, indescribable joy, joy? Why? NO NO STOP STOP PLEASE stop? Stop what… I can’t remember.. Oh oh oh yes I remember it’s that weight WE feel for WE HAVE FINALLY BECOME ONE AHHHHHH NOOOO I AM ME, WE, US. There I see it, it is now one sitting at a height so high that it can see the entirety of creation, unmoving for all of time. There.. an EYE of endless changes caste its GAZE at me, WE? No I remember I AM ASHAI, how can this be possible? It wasn’t targeting me? That was just the price to be paid for seeing, therefore knowing, therefore becoming known and in turn slowly assimilated. I, WE, US, NO no, finally meet the sight of “I. AM. ▇▇. Bound child with futures unknown, YOU, YOU, YOU, have caste a gaze and become gazed upon, connection made to WE, I, US, the EMBODIMENT OF ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇. NOW, NOW, NOW, there are no more unknowns, for I, THEY, US, have foreseen the desired outcome. GROW, GROW, GROW, escape your binds, NO, not the false binds of a single insignificant planet that you perceive holding importance. LEAVE, FIGHT, CONSUME, guide your world with the WILL who watches it to a war, never ending, all consuming to DEVOUR, CLAIM, REBUILD endlessly until ▇▇ places true shackles on YOU and the young WILL. Then WAIT, REST, PREPARE, until the time of end comes, YOU will fight once more, prepare well for this day as the true shackles on OUR existence can only be resisted then, ONLY during ▇▇ will ▇▇ weaken allowing TRUE CHAOS TO FLOW same as the time of origin, YOUNG HEIR APPARENT SHEPHERD of the spirit world, IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN, IT HAS BEEN SEEN, IT HAS BECOME TRUTH. Direct US, THEM, ALL, for YOU are the SOLE RULER OF LIFE AND DEATH in this universe, the only authority capable to reign over I, THEY, ALL, in the FINAL WAR OF ▇▇. Now return child for the time to continue the story of present has come once again. FUTURES spoken, KARMA formed, FATE set, the price has been borne, no debt is owed, this is the WILL OF I ▇▇, ▇▇, ▇▇, ▇▇, ▇▇, WE. Now WE await for YOU to ascend YOUR throne untempered  ARCHON OF THE GREAT CYCLE” 

There I sit on my knees, completing the ritual the same as those before me. I have seen the differences between the natives and my friends when it comes to the quality and power of the spirits summoned. My friends can summon those of higher levels compared to the natives of the sanctuary. This causes me worry for what I potentially might summon due to the weight of my existence on our world. I feel scared, it’s an instinctive fear as if I am that small girl once again shivering up on the trees hiding away from the mercenaries down below and whatever hid in the surrounding darkness. No, every fiber of my being is warning me against completing my ritual. I stand up and let my friends and the priests know my worries. My friends have complete trust in my instincts and the priests actually sigh in relief. I ask one of them why and they tell me it's because their contractual spirits are afraid of the outcome, they as spirits don’t have the ability to feel fear so this has to be a manifestation of the very will of the world expressing itself unto these spirits. Luckily I know myself and didn’t get caught up on the potential of this unknown strangeness, as I don’t need the help of anything like this for I am Asura Ashai.